Things that Annoy Booksellers, part 1

Odd that as the Kindle and the computer are so efficient – I am told we no longer need books or paper – that any bog standard academic these days has to walk around with a rucksack inflated with ‘stuff’ so that it becomes the size of one of Goliath’s testicles. These people (incredibly even those old enough to know better!) ricochet around my shop, knocking over anything within five metres of their wobbling incoherence.

What’s inside their rucksacks ffs? Distress flares? Supply of Kendal Mint Cake in case there is a Bodleian lock-in? Aesthetically they resemble a draped rodent; militarily they represent an assault vehicle, a battalion of marksman and a fleet of tanks as they invade my space (the average rucksack and coat when deposited at random on a shop floor is the equivalent of several hectares of land grab); psychologically they suggest needless attachment to ‘clobber’; emotionally, of course, they represent insecurity.

Schulz, creator of the Peanuts cartoon strip: “Linus, my serious side, is the house intellectual, bright, well-informed which, I suppose may contribute to his feelings of insecurity.” That’s it: rucksacks stuffed full of security blankets. And very protective of them you lot are, you ramshackle, needy lot. Just saying